100 questions to Mick Jagger

From: Leonid Ulitsky (ulitsky_at_wiztec.co.il)
Date: Sun 22 Nov 1998 - 14:16:50 IST

Hi !

Ne Naumov, ne Shevchuk - tak chto sorry. prosto ya prochel eto interview i
ochen' ono mne ponravilos'. Perevod is nemeckoj gazety - spasibo
"Undercover" - "Rolling Stones Mailing List".


1 SZ-magazine: We have twenty minutes - twenty hours of course would
have been better. Unfortunately we don't have them. That's why I suggest
a little game: I am going to ask you a hundred questions.

MJ: One hundred?

2 ...one hundred questions, yes, and you answer very quickly, totally
funny and spontaneously. We'll see how far we get. When you don't like a
question, just say: "go on"

MJ: Cool. Go on.

3 Tee or coffee?

MJ: One moment. Are all questions like that?

4 This is my entrance. Surely no easy question.

MJ: I drink tea and coffee. Rarely at the same time.

5 What do you do ordinarily before before you fall asleep?

MJ: Stop. Stop.

6 What?

MJ: I think I do not like this sort of interview.

7 Please just reply!

MJ: I forget something. That's the way it goes, I think: I turn off the
light, then I turn it on again, because I forgot something.

8 Thanks, great! What do you sing to your wife Jerry, when she is sad?

MJ: No idea, no idea. When she insists? When she says, Mick, you have to
do this for me? I am singing a blues.

9 The entire world, really everybody is listening to you for a few
seconds: what do you say into the microphone?

MJ: Hallo, you, we are the Rolling Stones. Then you hear Keith playing a

10 What is your most British facet?

MJ: All of my facets are British.

11 What is your most American facet?

MJ: All of my facets are American.

12 Which culture you would like to belong to?

MJ: A Chinese really would be something different. An African, maybe.

13 Which work of art you would like to possess?

MJ: ah, ah,.... interesting question, maybe the first interesting one.
There are so many..

14 Something ultra modern?

MJ: No, no.... Michelangelo's David

15 I try to imagine the ugliest piece of clothing you ever wore on

(MJ is laughing! He folds his hands behind his head, he scrubs his
shags, grins. Now it is starting to get funny, somehow. Is it now going
to get really funny?)

MJ: My pink-red-orange-purple-striped pair of plastic trousers from the
1978 US tour. A pair of disco trousers. Awful thing.

16 The piece of clothing you would never give away?

MJ: I keep the old stuff. The new one I give away to auctions.

17 After thirty, no, thirty-five years on stage....

MJ: After how many years however.

18 How did your best pair of shoes look like?

MJ: Forgotten. I love those that I'm wearing right now.

(A look underneath the table: nothing special. Jagger is wearing a pair
of black aerobic shoes by Nike)

19 How would you describe your hair cut?

MJ: hair, few cut. A bit shorter as usual. Just yesterday I went to the

20 How do you say it to your hairdresser?

MJ: Do you make it a little bit shorter this time?

21 How did the ring look like you better had not lost?

MJ: Silver. I don't wear gold.

22 Your favourite fashion designer?

MJ: There isn't one.

23 Your favourite variety of roses?

MJ: I like the small ones, the tiny Bengal-roses. They blossom longer,
somehow more gloomy, you know?

24 The most stylish celebrity you ever met?

MJ: Cecil Beaton, no doubt about it. Some day I'll give an interview
only about him.

25 Most beautiful thing you have ever seen with your own eyes?

MJ: I won't tell you the woman I'm thinking about right now. Nope.
Because then I would get into trouble. A romantic little place is the
water palace of Udaipur, India. Very comfortable there.

26 When haven't you been recognized?

MJ: This is happening constantly! Constantly!

27 Really?

MJ: You forget that I have to deal with business men quite a lot. Top
nobs. They aren't all rock'n'roll.

28 The best facet of fame?

MJ: Free drinks. Sometimes.

29 The worst?

MJ: A drink too many. Sometimes.

30 What is the difference between you and the statue of liberty?

MJ: Go on.

31 Now we are leaving the chapter of fame and deal with music. May I
just go on?

MJ: Go on.

(Jagger lays his arms down on the table, his head on them. He looks
really nice, unfortunately also a little bit bored. The interview might
keel over now)

32 Who is the greatest living soulman?

MJ: Go on.

33 Who is the greatest soulman of all times?

MJ: Aretha Franklin. No man.

34 How would you thank Elvis, if he would still be alive?

MJ: I have very ambivalent feelings concerning Elvis. He was enormously
talented, and he was a wimp. I'm sorry for him.

35 How to thank Chuck Berry?

MJ: Without words, we still play his songs live. In 1964 we recorded
"Carol". This was his song and then it homehow went to us.

36 Your favourite song by The Beatles?

MJ: Oh! No. No. Go on.

37 Now you have to answer.

MJ: No chance.

38 Come on! Mick Jagger has no favourite Beatles song? One wouldn't
think of that!

(Head on the table top, eyes closed. Now Jagger is suffering. Is he
really suffering?)

MJ: I say "All You Need Is Love". Not because I think this song is
something special. I love each song by the Beatles. Full stop.

39 How do you evaluate the inheritage of the Sex Pistols?

MJ: Much too complicated question. They were an art project, a marketing
project. Go on.

40 Your favourite German folk song?

MJ: Fuck off!

(Jagger is laughing! Thank haven!)

MJ: "Your Tiny Hand Is Frozen" Does it exist? You should now translate
this into German, please. I like "Die Toten Hosen". Their song titles of
course I cannot remember.

41 The last good song you have heard on the radio?

MJ: "Sir Duke" by Stevie Wonder. I was sitting in the car on the
from the airport and thought: great Stevie, great song.

42 The CD you are going to buy next?

MJ: I don't have "The Freestylers" yet. Do you hear me, you
funny young people? O yes. Daddy Mick is listening to "The Freestylers".
Cool guys.

43 What would you tell to Richard Ashcroft (The Verve)?

MJ: I don't know him. Well, not personally.

44 What would yoo tell to Bill Clinton?

MJ: Why didn't do go to a hotel?

45 I name you three Rolling Stones songs, you tell me which one
is for eternity:

Tumbling dice?

MJ: no.

46 Gimme Shelter?

MJ: Really not. No.

(FUCK OFF MICK JAGGER! - the translator)

47 Sympathy for the Devil?

MJ: This one a little bit. Yes.

48 Now it comes to rock'n'roll, a really exciting chapter. are
you ready?

MJ: Go on

49 What do you feel when you listen to "God Save The Queen?"

MJ: Really British. I stand up and join in the singing.

50 What do feel when you hear "Jumping Jack Flash"?

MJ: Go for the taxi! Home.

51 What do you feel when the string section plays the prelude of
"Tristan and Isolde"?

MJ: I haven't experienced this. Should I? You really mean I
should sit
down there? Thanks, Jesus. Fuck Wagner.

(relaxed voices, good mood. He sits there in a normal way again)

52 Last missed opportunity to say goodbye to rock'n'roll?

MJ: It's never too late. Go on.

53 When did you brake the law the last time?

MJ: A short while ago - we were waiting in front of this hotel -
I sat down onto the edge of a flower bucket. Made of terracotta, I
think, a huge thing. Then a man from the hotel came along in uniform, a
polite man, and said: Mr. Jagger, would you please stand up, the bucket
doesn't stand it. Oho! Pardon.

54 The last rock'n'roll thing you did with your wife?

MJ: We danced the blues. Yesterday, in a party cellar here in

55 Your last rock'n'roll action where noone was looking at you?

MJ: Recently I was mimicking to play guitar in the bathroom.

56 Really?

MJ: o yeah!

(laughter! Great mood!)

57 The toughest rock'n'roll night you remember?

MJ: Oh god, nope. Go on.

58 Your worst rock'n'roll year?

MJ: nope

59 The most stupid thing you ever said on stage?

MJ: "Hallo, Milano" - when we were in Zurich

60 The worst job you pulled with Keith?

MJ: Too many. Go on.

61 The worst rock'n'roll thing you ever did to a woman?

MJ: God, these questions are boring. Go on.

62 The toughest drug you know of?

MJ: Free-basing is hard. Really hard. Poo.

63 Coolest thing you ever did to a hotel room?

MJ: pffffff.....

64 Do you want to apologize to a policeman?

MJ: Now you are going mad. Really, no.

65 The hardest rock'n'roll band?

MJ: The Rolling Stones. Is that O.K.?

(Now he looks alive and kicking. Jagger gesticulates wildly,
conducts his answers with his hands in the air, seesaws on two chairlegs.
When he doesn't like a question at all, he bangs with the flat of his
hand on the table)

66 Best rock'n'roll band whose members, added up, are less than
100 years old?

MJ:Oasis, I think, but I haven't heard the guys live so far. You
have to hear them live. On the CDs it could be anyone.

67 How does the devil look like?

MJ: I think he plays the drums. Nothing against Charly, but....
you know: I just can't imagine the devil at the front on the

68 Do you trust in aspirin?

MJ: In nothing that is shrink-wrapped in plastic.

69 Your craziest nick name?

MJ: At school my name was Jagger the shagger

70 You realize that we a amid the chapter sex and partnership.
How does Jerry name you, when she is mad at you?

MJ: I have no idea. You have to ask her.

71 Have you ever taped a cassette for a girl, including choosing the
records, pushing the "record" button and the "pause" button?

MJ: Often. Of course years from now. I firmly believe that cassettes can
win over a girl's heart.

72 Can a man be friend with a woman without falling in love with her?

MJ: Sure. I would put it like that: I don't like to see my best
girlfriends naked.

73 The most beautiful compliment paid to you by a woman?

MJ: Forget it!

74 The most beautiful compliment paid to you by a man?

MJ: Hey! Slowly.

75 What are your lips able to?

MJ: What?

76 A simple question: Whom can you ring up early in the morning at

MJ: I pull at a blanket, the one that is right to me. If Jerry doesn't
know what to do, she calls the doctor.

77 Who is the, damn it, most beautiful woman on earth?

MJ: I am not crazy, excuse me. I am married.

78 In case of doubt, who are the better women?

MJ: The ones with children

79 Whom do you still have to apologize to?

MJ: To my aunt Liz - oh, honey! I told you bad things when I was a young
man. A very young man, of course.

80 Which woman would you like to meet in heaven?

MJ: Marlene Dietrich. Marilyn. Not necessarily my own women.

81 Which is the prettiest part of your body?

MJ: (whispers) My ass. (loud) My eyes.

82 When did you feel like an idiot for the last time?

MJ: During this interview

83 No! Oh, no! You certainly find a better reply!

MJ: Go on, go on! This is my answer. You have a few minutes left.

84 Is it fun to be Mick Jagger?

MJ: The last time on stage in Greece.

85 Now it is going to be very hard: the rating test. Ready?

MJ: I trust you.

86 I give you key words, and you rate yourself on a scale between one
and ten points. Mick, the organizational talent?

MJ: Brilliant

87 How many points?

MJ: No idea, i don't care. Go on.

88 Mick, the singer?

MJ: You have to judge him.

89: No, you!

MJ: Brilliant!

90: A number, please!

MJ: Ten.

91: Mick, the guitar player?

MJ: Oh, mediocre.

92: a number!

( Fantastic mood! Both of us bang our hands on the table!)

MJ: Go on.

93 Your qualities as a rose-grower?

MJ: It is an entirely fictious story that I am a rose-grower. Really,
total rubbish!

94 Your qualities as a football player?

MJ: futile

95 Your qualities as a husband?

MJ: one

96 Your qualities as a lover?

MJ: Oh, now it increases. Do you want my self-assessment as husband,
lover, and sex-god? Here you are: one, two, three.

97 Would you like to be forty again?

MJ: This is a mean question. Perhaps thirty.

98 Gladly sixty yet?

MJ: Hey, I hope not every interview today is going to be like this one.
But you took great trouble. Really nice.

99 What would you do first, if you could once again be 16 years old for
one day?

MJ: I run. Very, very fast. I have no goal.

(Now the press lady comes in, of course without knocking at the door.
The time is over. Jagger throws himself onto the armchair and stretches
his arms into the air - he looks very vital, and also pleasant.)

MJ: Get him out! Throw this pain in the neck out!

100 A very last question, Mr. Jagger, and you can take it literally:

Is it only rock'n'roll?

MJ: Everything, boy, everything. And now I'm going to tell you something
completely insane. Attention: I like it.

Leonid Ulitsky.
e-mail : ulitsky@wisdom.weizmann.ac.il, ulitsky@wiztec.co.il
URL: http://www.wisdom.weizmann.ac.il/~ulitsky
Phone : +(972)-(0)3-9490977 (home), +(972)-(0)9-9526557 (work)
ICQ # :10943984

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